What Really Drives Your Behavior?
Welcome to another Toolkit Tuesday! Every week, our goal is to give you a practical leadership tool to put in your toolkit.
So There I Was…
We were meeting with a business owner who had just promoted one of his best technicians to lead a team of six. The technician was outstanding on the tools, could troubleshoot anything and always hit their numbers. It made sense to promote them.
But a few months later things started to unravel. The team was frustrated, turnover was climbing and the owner could not understand why. On paper this person was a superstar. In practice they were struggling to lead. Did they make the wrong decision in promoting this person?
As we sat down with them it became clear what was happening. Their nature was highly task focused. Their nurture had reinforced that individual achievement was what got rewarded. Now in a leadership role those same patterns were working against them. They were still focused on getting the job done instead of fighting for the highest possible good for those they led. They never received training on how to make different choices, that would lead to this new behavior.
The Challenge
Many businesses promote their best performers into leadership without realizing the behaviors that once made them successful can hold them back. What used to work no longer does. These leaders often feel frustrated, unsure why their teams are not following their lead or producing the same results they once did on their own.
The truth is, what people see in us is not simple. Behavior is not just a matter of personality or skill. It is shaped by much deeper forces.
The Tool: What Drives Behavior
The What Drives Behavior tool helps leaders see that behavior is the result of three equal forces — Nature, Nurture and Choice.
Nature is your wiring, your personality and DNA. It is how you were made to function naturally.
Nurture is the environment and experiences that have shaped you — family, upbringing, success, failure, and the people who influenced you.
Choice represents the decisions you make every day that reinforce or change your path.
When you understand these three, you stop making quick judgments about others. You begin to look deeper at what is shaping the behaviors you see. This awareness builds empathy and creates space for real growth.
This tool connects closely with the 70/30 Principle — spending 70 percent of your time doing what comes naturally gives you energy and grace for the 30 percent that does not.
Why This Matters Now
When leaders ignore what drives behavior, they often misread people. They assume poor performance comes from laziness or attitude instead of misunderstanding or misalignment. This leads to frustration, conflict and wasted potential.
But leaders who understand the mix of Nature, Nurture and Choice see their people differently. They recognize that what shows up on the surface is shaped by deeper patterns. That perspective changes everything — how they coach, how they correct and how they build trust.
The difference between reaction and reflection is often the difference between a toxic culture and a thriving one.
The Result
Leaders who use this tool begin to notice a shift. Conversations become more productive. Team members feel understood instead of judged. Performance issues are addressed with clarity instead of blame.
As awareness grows, the team’s culture changes. Leaders become more intentional, more patient and more precise. They start making decisions that build both performance and people.
Understanding what drives behavior does not make leadership easier, but it makes it far more effective.
Take Action
Think about one person who has frustrated you recently. Ask yourself what might be driving their behavior — Nature, Nurture or Choice. Then ask the same about yourself.
Schedule a strategy session with us. Let’s talk about how understanding what drives behavior can transform the way you lead and the results your team produces.
Closing the Loop
After working with the technician and their business owner, the change was slow but steady. Once the technician understood what was driving their behavior, they began to lead differently. Instead of focusing only on output, they started focusing on their people. The team noticed the difference. Turnover dropped, and trust began to rebuild.
Not every leader chooses to grow this way. Some stay focused on tasks and results and continue to burn out themselves and their teams. But those who choose awareness over assumption learn that leadership is less about what you do and more about who you are becoming.
