When Expectations Break Trust
So There I Was…
A friend of mine who works for a large company told me about a recent change. Leadership had announced that employees could no longer work overtime in order to reduce costs. At the same time those same leaders were pushing a message that people needed to do more, be more efficient and deliver at even higher levels within fewer hours.
You can imagine how that landed. Employees heard two conflicting expectations: work less but also produce more. Morale dropped almost instantly. Instead of motivating people the message created frustration and discouragement.
The Challenge
Every leader sets expectations whether they realize it or not. The problem is that expectations that are impossible, unrealistic, limited or resigned undermine trust and performance. Employees end up frustrated, leaders end up disappointed and culture takes the hit.
The hardest part? Most of us do not see our own tendencies. We either expect too much without considering skill, experience or capacity or we quietly give up and set the bar too low. Both extremes erode growth and engagement.
And here is the thing: this applies just as much to the expectations we set for ourselves as it does to the ones we set for others. We will dig deeper into that next week.
The Tool: The Expectations Scale
The Expectations Scale helps leaders recognize whether the expectations they set are healthy or harmful. It also provides a way to check if those expectations have been clearly communicated.
Impossible / Unrealistic → These create dominating cultures. Leaders keep pushing for more without considering skill, experience or resources. The result is burnout, apathy, resistance and turnover.
Limited / Resigned → These create protecting cultures. Leaders lower the bar either because they do not believe in their people or they have given up. This leads to entitlement, under performance and unhealthy dynamics.
Realistic → These create empowering cultures. Leaders match expectations to the current ability and potential of their people. They provide the right balance of support and challenge so growth happens and trust builds.
Here is the key: expectations only work if they are shared. If you think you have set the bar but you have never clearly communicated it, then what you actually have is pre-meditated bitterness. Unspoken expectations set both you and your people up for failure.
The scale gives leaders a simple way to stop and ask: Where am I right now? What am I asking of this person or team? Is it realistic? And most importantly, have I said it out loud?
Why This Matters Now
Leaders often do not realize how their expectations sound until they are named. “Be more efficient with fewer hours” might make sense in a boardroom but on the ground it is received as “do the impossible.” Over time this gap between what is asked and what is realistic builds resentment and disengagement.
The Result
When expectations are unrealistic employees check out, hide mistakes or quietly quit. Leaders lose credibility and culture drifts toward mistrust.
But when expectations are realistic and clearly communicated teams feel empowered. They know the standard, they see a path forward and they feel supported in growing toward it. Trust is built, performance rises and the culture strengthens.
Take Action
Audit your expectations this week. Think about one person on your team. Where do your expectations fall on the scale: impossible, unrealistic, realistic, limited or resigned? And have you communicated those expectations clearly?
Schedule a conversation. Let’s talk about how the Expectations Scale can transform alignment and trust inside your business.
Closing the Loop
That company did not mean to discourage its people. But by failing to set and communicate realistic expectations they created the exact opposite of what they wanted. As leaders we can avoid that trap. When we set clear realistic expectations we empower people to climb higher than they thought possible.
And next week we are going to flip the lens. What happens when the expectations we set for ourselves are unrealistic, impossible, limited or resigned?
