Stop Trying to Prove Your Value First
Welcome to another Toolkit Tuesday! Every week, our goal is to give you a practical leadership tool to put in your toolkit.
So There I Was . . .
So there I was in a first meeting with a new connection who clearly knew her field inside and out. She dove straight into diagnosing my business and laying out possible solutions. I respected it because I operate the same way. As a Guardian first voice I still have that tendency to feel like I need to prove my value right away too. But I also knew how this usually plays out. Lots of hustle not much traction.
After a few minutes I stopped her and said let’s put the business talk aside for a second. Tell me about you. She did then asked about me and the whole tone shifted. Once we had that foundation I showed her the Relational Impact tool. As a Guardian it helped her understand why she often felt pressure to lead with solutions.
She has been working on being relational first and she is already seeing better engagement.
The Challenge
Most of us move too fast. We skip trust and jump straight to the pitch. It feels efficient but it usually shuts people down. When we lead with our expertise instead of genuine interest we miss the real pain behind their situation.
The Tool: Relational Impact
The Relational Impact tool reminds us to put relationship before opportunity. The lever at the top shows whether you are operating for yourself or for the other person. When you move that lever toward them everything changes.
You start with simple curiosity. How’s it going? How’s your family? What’s happening in your world right now? Those questions uncover felt need and real pain. When people know you are for them they open up. Once you understand their reality then you can offer instant help through a tool, an insight or a small solution that has immediate impact.
That is what builds trust. That is what makes you significant and memorable.
Why This Matters Now
We live in a transactional world. Everyone is rushing to pitch, prove or persuade. When you slow down and put the person first you stand out.
People remember who listened, not who talked the most. This tool keeps you from missing the deeper need that leads to real influence.
The Result
If you lead with solutions you will work hard and see limited traction. People will nod politely then disappear.
If you lead with relationship you will understand their pain before you ever talk about what you offer. Your solutions will land because they actually connect to what matters. That is how opportunities grow without feeling forced.
Take Action
Practice the lever. In your next meeting move your internal lever toward being for them. Ask three simple questions before you offer any advice. Listen for felt need.
Build your relational skills. If you want to grow your influence or learn how to use the Relational Impact tool with your team or clients, schedule a call with us. We can work through how to put this into practice in your real conversations.
Closing the Loop
That first meeting with her was a reminder I still need too. Being sharp and capable is great but relationships carry the real weight. When you slow down and be for the other person you show them you are fighting for their highest good. When people feel that everything else gets easier.
