The Influence That Lasts
Welcome to another Toolkit Tuesday! Every week, our goal is to give you a practical leadership tool to put in your toolkit.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou - American poet & Civil rights activist
So There I Was…
High school wasn’t exactly my glory days. By my junior year, I was in a rough spot—academically, relationally, even in how I saw myself. Plenty of adults had written me off by that point, quietly deciding I wasn’t worth the effort. I didn’t blame them. I wasn’t making it easy.
But there was one person who didn’t follow the crowd. My basketball coach, who also happened to be one of my teachers, saw something in me that I couldn’t yet see in myself. He showed up in ways that didn’t feel flashy or dramatic, but they landed deeply. Before every single basketball game, he handed me a 3x5 index card. On it was a handwritten note: a word of encouragement, a reminder to stay focused, or a challenge to rise above the junk I was getting pulled into. Just a few lines of ink.
I couldn’t tell you exactly what any of those cards said now. But I can tell you how they made me feel: seen, believed in, and worth investing in.
The Challenge
We often think influence is about charisma, titles, or the ability to persuade. But the truth is far simpler and far more powerful. Influence is inevitable. You don’t get to choose whether you influence someone. You only get to choose how.
This coach didn’t change my life with fiery speeches or grand gestures. He just took a few minutes every week to invest in me. He gave me his time and, through that, his belief. In a world where most people are moving too fast to notice others, those small investments stand out.
We don’t usually forget the people who gave us their time. We forget their words. We forget their stats. But we remember the way they made us feel.
The Tool: Investing Time
Time comes in two essential forms: Formal/Structured and Informal/Spontaneous. Both matter, and both communicate something unique.
Formal time includes 1:1s, meetings, training, and planned check-ins. It tells people, “You are a priority,” and helps communicate expectations, provide support, and build consistent habits.
Informal time is the unplanned, relational presence—like sending an encouraging message, grabbing coffee, or checking in when it’s not required. It often creates space for deeper trust, removes self-preservation, and gives people insight into how you really operate as a leader.
A great leader is intentional about balancing both. When you choose to be fully present—whether through a meeting or a meaningful moment—you build the kind of relational capital that accelerates growth and deepens connection.
Why This Matters Now
That coach passed away recently. And as the stories poured in from former players and students, one thing stood out: no one talked about his win-loss record. No one quoted a single lecture or play he drew up. They talked about how he made them feel. Like they mattered. Like they had potential. Like someone was in their corner.
Isn’t that the kind of legacy we all want to leave?
Influence isn’t reserved for the spotlight. It is created in quiet, consistent acts of intentional time. That’s the kind of influence that sticks, not for a week, but for a lifetime.
The Result
Looking back, I realize I was close to giving up. I almost failed out of school. But those cards, and the belief behind them, were enough to help me turn the corner. They gave me just enough hope to try again.
That coach’s influence didn’t end when the season did. It shaped the way I lead today. It made me want to show up for others with the same quiet strength and consistency. It taught me that the time we invest in people becomes part of their story, whether we ever see the full impact or not.
Take Action
Do a “Time Audit.” Look at how you’re investing time in the people around you. Are you leaning too heavily on formal or informal time? What needs rebalancing?
Want to become the kind of leader people never forget? Let’s talk about how Investing Time can shape your culture, your team, and your influence.
Closing the Loop
I never held on to those 3x5 cards physically, but the impact they had on me stuck. All these years later, I still remember the feeling of being believed in when I didn’t believe in myself. That coach didn’t just change my game. He changed my direction.
His influence lives on in how I choose to show up for others. And every time I invest a few intentional minutes with someone—whether formal or informal—I am paying forward the kind of influence that shaped me when I needed it most.
Lead hard!
